


Problem

by AstriumAvis, Nekrotafeyo



Category: Saints Row
Genre: F/M, Self Insert, Selfship, Selfshipping, self shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstriumAvis/pseuds/AstriumAvis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekrotafeyo/pseuds/Nekrotafeyo
Summary: Matt had a problem. He had tried to deny it. He had tried to ignore it. He had even tried redirecting it. But unfortunately, he couldn't make it go away. And now? He had to face up to it.





	Problem

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Ali wrote me a little fic to cheer me up when I was feeling pretty bummed out the other day. And they were kind enough to let me add some stuff to this to make it a collab. We basically did about half each. Ali is the real MVP ilu.

Matt had a problem. 

He had tried to deny it. He had tried to ignore it. He had even tried redirecting it. But unfortunately, he couldn't make it go away. It was like an infection.

An infection in his heart.

He sighed and pushed the computer screen in front of him away. It was impossible to focus, impossible to throw himself into his work. Because across from his simulation workstation was the source of his whole problem. Tucked safely into her sim port, beautiful purple eyes closed and face pensive. Her pink-painted lips were pursed slightly. All too often, he found himself staring at her, found his thoughts travelling to her. Wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips. And it. was. a. problem. 

Lee… was a problem. And he hated the fact that she was a problem, because she was too incredible to have anything negative attached to her. And really, the issue was more about him. He couldn't control his emotions, he was being… well, creepy, he figured. And if she ever noticed him staring, he was certain she'd start hating him forever. More so than she /probably/ did during their days in Steelport. Matt shook his head. The fact that she even kept him around after all of that- he just couldn’t understand it. Part of him didn’t want to understand. Knowing his luck, it was just another case of being kept until he outlived his usefulness, before being thrown in the trash.

He didn't think he could handle that again. Not from Lee. Not when he felt so… strongly for her. But as time passed, it became more and more of an issue: to the point that Kinzie and Asha were commenting on how distracted he was while working. Hell- he was sure that even /Johnny/ had noticed. And that was saying something. It was only a matter of time before everyone found him out, and that was a terrifying prospect. It would be the end to normalcy as he knew it.

He had to do something. But doing something took courage… social courage, which was the one he lacked the most. 

He stood up from his chair and took off for the cargo bay. His private space, with his couch and respite area. It was the only place he felt secure enough to have a serious dialogue with himself. Afterall, nobody ever wanted to walk past and get roped into watching a whole season of Nyte Blade in one sitting. It was both a blessing and a curse. But even then, he couldn't stop thinking about her, picturing her beautiful face. He hated himself for it, and even more for being too much of a coward to admit his infatuation.

"Infatuation… no, that's not the right word." He sighed to himself. "Affection? Interest? L-"

No. The L-word was too serious. Their relationship had, up until this point, been entirely playful, banter based, with a side of… Well. “Messing around”. He would embarrass himself, scare her off. He needed inspiration. 

...And that's how he found himself watching Nyte Blade confess his emotions to Marion. Matt had watched this part too many times to count, to the point where even he had forgotten. But this time it felt… different. It was hitting home a bit more than anticipated. 

"Marion, ever since I met you… my soul has been aflame with desire."

"My heart… yearns for yours." Matt spoke, along with the protagonist. "I've never felt such passion, such a connection to another. Though my body may be dead, you make me feel… alive."

"Oh, Nyte Blade…"

"Please. Call me Franklin. I want to know you. All of you. And I want you to know me."

The problem was, he couldn't even focus on Nyte Blade. His thoughts just kept wandering to her. Maybe he just needed to practice, instead. Matt leaped out of his seat and begun pacing back and forth. He almost tripped over his own feet making his first turn, looking around to make sure absolutely nobody had seen that. Of course, nobody had- who the hell would be down in the Cargo Bay when he was- okay, maybe he was insulting himself a little there. Matt shook his head and knelt next to the couch, reaching into the box of miscellaneous Nyte Blade memorabilia and pulled out a figurine of the Bloody Cannoness. He felt like this was sure to be the stupidest thing he’d ever done, but if he wanted to channel his inner Nyte Blade, who best to practice on than the Cannoness herself! 

"Hey, do you… come here often?"

The figurine of the Bloody Cannoness he was pretending was Lee did not answer. 

"You know, I think someone's liable to call the coppers on you, because looking so beautiful must be ill- no, she's already committed too many crimes for that."

He started again. Maybe pickup lines were a bad idea. Yes- absolutely. There was no way a cheesy pickup line was going to work on Lee. She’d probably heard them all a thousand times over- and probably shot everyone who even dared. Matt wasn’t sure what fate was worse- rejection, or a bullet in his brain. The bullet surely wouldn’t hurt as much, he thought to himself. 

"Listen, I just wanted to say… you are beautiful, and I was thinking… maybe we could…"

Do what, exactly? Get dinner at the local space restaurant? God, this was stupid. And the Bloody Cannoness was nothing like Lee, anyway. He just needed to hype himself up. He quickly tossed the figure aside and onto the couch. Matt glanced down to make sure that said spontaneous act hadn’t broken the figurine- luckily for him it hadn’t. He picked it back up and slipped it back into the box, sliding it back under the couch. Better to be safe than sorry. Matt drew in a couple of deep breaths and closed his eyes for a few moments. NOW, he was able to hype himself up. 

"Come on, you're R4GN0R0K! A cyber god, with the world, no, the universe, all at your fingertips! You can tell one woman how you feel about her, even if that woman is… you know, the most beautiful woman to ever exist, way out of your league, badass, could kill you easily…"

No! Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts, Matt. He slumped back down onto the couch, holding his head in his hands. This was a whole lot harder than he ever imagined it would be. He took another deep breath and looked up.

"I can do this. R4GN0R0K. Cyber god. I… can do this!" 

He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

He was doing it. 

He jumped up off the couch and headed up to the common room where he could hear the squad's voices. Lee was at the pool table, laughing at something Johnny was doing, and he paused in the doorway, admiring the way she looked for just a moment. Spiky, colourful hair a perfect mess, a rare spark of joy in her expression. She made the ugly grey jumpsuit they all wore look like it could be on a runway model. 

She looked around, saw him, and offered a smile that filled him with an emotion that made his chest feel like it would burst. Panicking a little bit at the overwhelming emotion, he rushed forward, grabbed ahold of her arm gently, and tugged her away. She seemed surprised by the sudden contact, but followed him out of the room. They stopped in the storage room, surrounded by cans of nutrient supplement. 

"Matt? What's wrong?" She asked. "Emotional breakdown over Nyte Blade Season 3 Finale again, or-"

"I… I need to tell you something." He said, confidence quickly wilting as he stared her in the face. She was out of his league, and he was about to be rejected, he just knew it-

Lee had never seen Matt sound and look so panicked before. Not when she could have killed him all those years ago. Not when he found out the world had been destroyed. Not even when Zinyak had messed with him mentally with his use of the simulations. Something was up here- and she knew it. Concern coloured her expression. Even she was unable to hide it. And she was a GOD of hiding emotions away from the people closest to her.

"What's- What’s wrong?"

This was it. The end. He turned bright red. 

"Lee, I… I'minlovewithyou."

Oh god. He said the L-word. 

"W-What?"

She blinked at him, dumbfounded. She had heard clearly what he said- but couldn’t quite believe it. Why would /he/ of all people be saying that- be feeling that. Matt had standards, somehow. And she met none of them. Somehow. 

"I'm… in love with you. I know you and I just have this banter relationship, and I know you're too good for me, and you deserve so much better than me, but I just had to say something b-because… e-ever since I met you, my soul-"

Time was slowing down for Matt and he hated it. He just had to get a few more words out- he could do it-

"Has been aflame with desire." Lee deadpanned, turning pink with what was clearly rage. "Did you just confess your love to me using a Nyte Blade quote?" 

Fuck. "...I'm sorry, I panicked, and-"

"I love you too, dumbass." She said quickly, the three words that he had only ever fantasized about hearing her say. The fifth word was, however, incredibly incorrect. At least Matt thought so. Even though he absolutely was being a dumbass in the moment.

"Oh." Well, that was unexpected. "Really?"

"I was kind of under the impression you would never like me, but… yes."

"Wow." Matt was dumbfounded.

They stood there in silence for a moment. There was so much for both parties to take in. On Matt’s side- he was on cloud nine. Part of him wanted to run and scream, telling everyone all about it at the top of his lungs. But the other part was frozen still, in shock, unable to comprehend what had just happened. And Lee? She was even more in shock. Despite portraying herself as the rock-hard leader of the Saints, she was so much more complex than that deep down. And barely anyone knew it. The combination of trauma, mental illness, self-hatred and God knows what else had always led her to believe that even the likes of Matt Miller wouldn’t want anything more to do with her than a casual shag every now and then. Hell- he was the only person she had ever gotten /that/ close to. Although that was not something she was about to admit. Not just yet. 

"So, what now, casanova?" Lee asked, breaking the silence.

"I… have no idea. I never actually accounted for this when I was rehearsing."

"You rehearsed this?!" She giggled. "And /that/ was the result?"

"Well, I didn't say I rehearsed it well."

Lee couldn’t help but smile. God he was adorable. Was he always this cute- or had he just somehow made himself even cuter with his shenanigans? She crossed her arms, leaning back against one of the supply closets. This whole situation sure was something to her. Matt was the first person she had ever been with; and Matt was the first person she had ever loved. 

“You- did a better job than I would have.”  
“What do you mean-“  
“I could have said something five years ago-“ 

Lee sighed, realizing she was just about to reveal quite a few things about herself with no warning. 

“-but I didn’t. I was too scared to. But you? You bloody did it.”  
“You mean to say you-“  
“Five years. Pathetic, I know.”

And now they were back to silence. Matt was in more shock than before. Five years ago, he was terrorizing the Boss of the Saints with whatever antics were required by the Syndicate. And /THAT/ was the point in time that Lee had fallen in love with him? That she had fallen in love at /ALL/? Matt couldn’t quite believe it. For a moment he thought that he was being pranked. But knew deep down that Lee would never be that cruel to him. This was all real. This was happening. Lee closed her eyes and smiled to herself. It was one of the most genuine smiles that had ever come out of her. And Matt couldn’t help but notice. Once again, he found himself looking at her lips. How perfect they looked when she was smiling. And knowing that he was the source of said smiles? Priceless.

He was cut off pondering by her turning and kissing him. He squeaked like a teen girl in a cheesy romance movie, astonished, and then kissed back, burying his hands in her soft hair and feeling the butterflies in his stomach explode into his throat. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer against her body. She found herself being pinned up again the cabinets as they kissed ever so passionately. It was like electricity was surging through their bodies. Matt was almost certain he was about to explode, but at the same time, he felt like he would phase into nothingness and fall right through her embrace. The floor spun. 

Lee pulled away first. His lipstick was smeared against hers, producing purple streaks. He wondered if the same marks were on him. He decided he wouldn't mind that. Matt caught himself gazing at her- She looked like she had stars in her eyes. 

"I love you." They chorused, relishing the words spoken breathless and wide-eyed. Matt giggled; Lee giggled. They kissed again, and again and again. Brief, sweet contact that was quickly becoming addictive. It was like they were teenagers again, living out what could have been had things been different. 

"Yo, Boss!" A distant voice came from down the hall. "You gonna come finish getting your ass kicked, or are you a coward and terrible at pool?"

"Oh, fuck off will you, just give me a second!"

Lee rolled her eyes. Matt grinned at her. "We, uh, might want to fix up our lipstick."

"I dunno. I think I like the look." She shrugged, swiping a thumb across his bottom lip where a smear had formed. She leant in and placed her lips to his once more. This kiss felt- different to Matt. It was so much softer than any kiss they had shared before. They both closed their eyes as Lee ran her thumb along his cheek. When Lee eventually pulled back and opened her eyes, she smiled and took Matt by the hand.

"Let's make a statement."


End file.
